Funny Japanese English Signs

Looking for some funny Japanese English? Look no further. Here’s a list of some bad/funny Japanese English I’ve come across in my time in Japan. Just a warning that this post isn’t PG like my others though–if you happen to understand English, that is.

Miracle Card Ass

It’s a miracle.

Don't cat

Or dog. Don’t dog either.

Love Love Sand

Don’t you?

Bruno the Stud

Because cigarettes make you strong!

Okay, no funny Japanese English in this one. But Bruno up there certainly deserved an honorary mention. Check out those well-oiled thighs!

Starvations Children Store

That’s a children’s clothing store, by the way.

Kofu Medical Ass

Get it here.

UFO Colon

Did someone say…probing?

Family of Condoms

Okay, again, not Japanese English. But a family of condoms certainly warrants mention. (They’re actually gas tanks, by the way.)

By Buttocks is dead good

Too bad your English isn’t!

Awesome floor plan

I’m going to the gluttonous corner, then put everything, and stretch out.

Floor plan 2

What goes on in the exhilarating room? Exercise, of course!

There’s a lot of funny English in Japan, the worst being The Big F*****’ sale you can see at Flowerpoop.com. When I starting seeing it everywhere I asked myself: how does this happen? Well, just like kanji is cool outside Japan, English is cool inside Japan. Unfortunately, that means there’s a lot of that doesn’t mean what Google translator thinks it means.

Or you’re an idiot. There’s that too. Going from “cupboard” to “gluttonous corner” is a big leap. You can’t mistranslate that, unless of course you think you’re being clever–about as clever as a nine year old looking up dirty words in the dictionary. The real reason there is so much bad Japanese English is laziness. Most of the gaffs I’ve seen could have been completely avoided even by checking an online dictionary. Because R and L are the same letters in Japanese, this can lead to some pretty serious mistakes. Think “I just voted in Japan’s erection” kind of mistakes. Certainly good for a laugh, but if you’re a business owner it’s an embarrassing mistake that could have been avoided by just checking a dictionary.

That goes for non-Japanese as well. I still remember when a high school friend showed me her tattoo stickers of “cute” and “pretty.” Translation: “water” and “fire.” And my favorite, the guy I knew with the kanji for the the North Carolina Tarheels (as if there really was one) on his hat. Translation: “foot.” Granted, both were more likely cases of companies just not caring, but imagine if they were, say, real tattoos. That would not be funny.

Or maybe it would, at least to anyone who could read them. Stay tuned. This will certainly not be my last funny Japanese English post.

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6 Comments on “Funny Japanese English Signs”

  1. AnnaSan
    June 4, 2013 at 2:20 am #

    Haha! You beat me! I was planning out a post on Engrish! 😀

    • introvertnathan
      June 4, 2013 at 11:49 pm #

      The world can never have enough bad English. Show us more, Annasan!

  2. Artemis
    June 5, 2013 at 1:00 am #

    The best Japanese-English I’ve ever seen was a few years ago on a t-shirt that read “fuck the art, let’s fashion”. I do love the fact that almost anything can be turned into a verb here. My own junior high school principle telling me to “Let’s beer”? Priceless.

    • introvertnathan
      June 6, 2013 at 1:14 am #

      Awesome. “Let’s beer” might not be English, but it should be.

  3. rose2852
    June 6, 2013 at 10:37 pm #

    My favourite was “no uncaged animals” on a ferry, although there were many others which made me smile.

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