Pachinko Gundam Station: Brought To You By Apple

I will never wait in line for the latest something. The first batch is always bugged.

If you bought a new PS2 you might remember when it suddenly stop playing disks. When Virtual Fighter 4 stopped working I returned it to the store, where the clerk informed me that my disk was fine, it was actually my PS2 with the problem. They could give me a refurbished system if I traded mine in though. Twenty bucks.

Japanese Playstation 2

I’m a gamer, in case you couldn’t tell.

Begrudging Sony for having to pay twenty dollars for a system I already owned, I agreed and took my new (refurbished) system home.

Virtual Fighter 4 still did not work, nor did anything else. Round two. I drove back and they gave me another refurbished system. I tried again and…same result. Round three.

The young blond clerk whispered to her manager, “What do we do?”

He shrugged. “Give him a new one.”

They took a new system out of its box and put it inside the cardboard boxes used for the refurbished ones. Because, hey, we can’t just give you a new box. After three hours of driving back and forth to the mall, I had a new system. Sweet.

Now, I’m an Apple fan. I’m writing this on my iPad with my Apple wifi keyboard–my English one, because I also have a Nihongo one. Like every other user, when I upgraded to OS6 I immediately noticed that my Google Maps and my Youtube were gone. What the?

This is due to Apple throwing a tantrum at Steve Job’s former friends, the owners of Google, for copying many iphone features on the Android. In revenge, Apple let Google’s Youtube and Google Maps contracts expire, hence the apps getting removed (without your permission) upon the update.

I’m sore because I relied on Google Maps for train schedules in Japan. I thought I could use Apple Maps the same way, but this is what I got.

Apple Maps

All but the biggest train stations were unfindable, despite existing. I can’t use Apple Maps for the trains, which for me makes it all but useless.

(Okay, I wrote this some time ago and just installed Apple’s new update. Stations exist now, but you still can’t use the app for train times. Grr…)

This inferior product is riddled with (hilarious) flaws. Many of the most serious have, sadly, been fixed with the latest update. But in order to preserve the most noteworthy for posterity (in case you can’t read it) this is Pachinko Gundam Station, powered by Apple.

Pachinko Gundam Station

For a few months the station appeared on the Otome line near Akishima station. A giant mechanized robot helps you play Pachinko slots while you ride the train? Full of awesome.

There were quite a few more gaffs in and outside the Land of the Rising Sun, all of which caused huge embarrassment and rounds of lost jobs at Apple. It’s big business at its worst.

I’ve since downloaded the new Google Maps app, but it’s no Dark Knight. Like most sequels, it doesn’t live up to the original. Still, I can get my train times. That’s enough. But if you come to Japan and do plan on traveling by train, you won’t be able to rely on Apple maps. Not until they get over their hissy fit, or fix their app. Until then, download Google’s.

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